Vomit

A graphical account of over indulgence

This true story is set some time ago in the mid 1980's. Our central characters name has been changed to protect the innocent, we shall call him Paul.

It's a Saturday night and every one is out for loadsa beers. Paul decides to finish the night off with a Kentucky Fried chicken.
He's still living at home with his parents at this time, and goes home to bed.
"It's about four o' clock in the morning", his mother later recounts, "and I heard this HU, HU, HU sound coming from Paul's bedroom. I opened the door, switched the light on, and as I did our Paul sat up in bed and threw up - all over his duvet!

"The following week it was out to the pub again for lots more beers - Paul finishes the evening off with a Kentucky Fried chicken and then goes home to bed.
Later, at some unknown hour of the morning he wakes up, wanders over to his hi-fi, lifts the lid on the turntable and hurls chunks straight into it - all over his AC/DC's Fly on the Wall record. He then closes the lid and goes back to bed.
"It wasn't until the next morning that I realised what I'd done.", he said, "Fortunately once I washed all the vomit off the album it played fine!"
Mistaking a hi-fi for a toilet is easy to do when you're blathered.

Sure enough, the next weekend - out to the pub, loadsa beers - a visit to a certain take-away, home, and straight to bed.
You've guessed it - early hours of the morning and Paul has the urge for a five finger spread. This time however he is prepared. By the side of his bed is the carrier bag that came with the new jeans he bought that day - the bag is empty, so up comes the Kentucky straight into the carrier bag. Been a considerate type of chappie and not wishing to stink his bedroom out, he disposes of it by throwing it out of his bedroom window (you know it makes sense really!). Satisfied he returns to bed.
About 10:00 a.m. his mother wakes him up;
"Paul", she says, "were you ill last night?".
"Yeah", he replies.
"You weren't by any chance sick in a carrier bag were you?"
"Err, yeah I was".
"What exactly did you do with it?", she asks.
"Erm, I think I threw it out of the window".
"Yes I thought you had", says his mum, "because it's caught in the branches of the tree in the garden and every time the wind blows, lumps of chuck fall out and splatter the pavement below!!"

Paul still drinks copious amounts of alcohol and is sick on a regular basis - providing limitless entertainment.
Without him this story could never have been told, and through it he has brought laughter to many people.

Oh yeah, no word of a lie, the tree was a SYCAMORE tree!!

I'm glad to say that I don't have any recordings of this geezer at his worst, but I do have the next best thing!
This is a recording of Paul in a drunken state leaving a message on my answer machine (2nd March 1996).
Click here to listen to this Real Audio clip.

Vomit Related Links

http://bradleymac.nms.unt.edu/vomit.html - how many words can you think of to say 'vomit'?
http://homepages.tig.com.au/~mcgarry/paul/chphgall.htm - chunks gallery.
http://pages.prodigy.com/lemus/barf.htm - a collection of other barfing stories.
http://www.xvt.com/users/kevink/sick/sick.html - A virtual up-chuck 'game'.
http://www.realbeer.com/fun/burps/ - Burp related stuff...

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